It isn't "buyers remorse". You have bought into the RV Fulltimer lifestyle and have no regrets. You paid your dues by doing the research, learning all about your rig, and taking little trips. You spent a couple of summers hanging out at the campground and begin to see that you really *could* live this way. And the people are friendly. They even bring out the friendly in you. No, you've done all the right things and you're only a couple of months away from launch date.
It's just a mild sadness. It's the end of a relationship: that old house and you, the familiar roads, the noisy neighbor, the pothole at the end of your street. It's all these familiar things that make up your life. It's the mail lady who never smiles, but never loses a piece of mail.
It's the poplar tree that sounds wonderful in the breeze, but drops sap on your car. It's the geese who visit during migration and leave little "gifts" on your sidewalk. It's these ordinary things that are being left behind.
It's hard to get excited about packing in such a mood. The piano music remains in the old wooden cabinet. It wouldn't take a lot of effort to pack, but it gets ignored. The books that should go to the used book store stay on the shelf, still dusty.
CDs and DVDs lay about in disorder. Temporarily. You're in a funk. Not a bad one, but a funk, nonetheless.
You trek out to the bookstore and pick out a few selections to review with a cup of coffee. You notice the snow has stopped. It's still cold outside. But the coffee is hot and it feels good to be in a familiar spot.
You're neither happy nor unhappy. You have a "ticket to ride" (as in the Beatles song) and you know the day is coming soon. But a part of you regrets the change. Regrets the loss of the familiar.
A Ticket to Ride. Like a date with destiny. A date to see the great places of the southwest. A date with Denali in Alaska. A date with the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico. A date with friends you haven't met yet. A date with the outdoors and hiking and picking apples off the tree.
A date with a whole *new* life. And you know you're excited. Except your mind hasn't quite caught on. Your mind wants yesterday. Your mind wants for everything to stay the same and never change.
How complicated we are sometimes. Having learned about visualization, it's understood that we are the masters of our lives. We aren't puppets; we have free will. We're intended to dream grand things and then go about making them come true.
That's our gift. We are creators of our lives and it's intended that we learn to be in control. Notwithstanding the guidance we are sometimes given, we should be about creating our dream. It's written in our DNA: "Master and Creator of the Universe". Or at least *our* little Universe.
So you have a last sip of coffee. Put aside the books. And leave the bookstore. Because you're about doing. The funk will pass soon. It's a fleeting attempt of the old "You" to preserve the past.
And You -- You know that the past doesn't exist. You live in the here and now. And You take control back because you have this incredible "Ticket to Ride". Your date with destiny. Grand things lie ahead and you know it.
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2 comments:
Thank you so much. This is exactly what I am going through right now and it is good to hear someone else express it so eloquently.
We've been planning this for years. Actually bought the RV two years ago so we could practice. But now... The house is sold and my old world is quickly dissolving. The pictures are coming off the walls, the furniture is going out the door, the treasured mementoes are being stored away with relatives and we're saying goodbye. Goodbye to our beautiful house, to our friends and neighbors, and to this city that we've love so dearly.
In less than 30 days we'll be living in the RV and instead of feeling excited and happy, I'm feeling sad, wondering if we made the right decision.
But you reminded me why I made this decision. I'm not ready to settle down in this comfortable nest and wait for death to arrive. As much as I love this house, it is like a gilded cage and I long for freedom. I long for a life that doesn't revolve around materialism. A life where the spiritual takes precedence. One last great adventure. Hope to see you on the road my friend.
Carey, I'd like to ask you some questions about your initial decision to buy an RV and then go full-timing. Is there an email account you feel comfortable sharing? I understand if not! Kim in Lubbock, TX
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